Question...The Final Question
THE FINAL QUESTION...
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If you have spent time going through every page and link on this website and have now arrived at this final page, then we applaud you for boldly holding your chosen church community up to the light of scrutiny. Hopefully, your site research has brought you to several conclusions:
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The churches are led by untrained men.
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The churches are shrinking because they are unhealthy.
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The churches have hundreds of negative online reviews and a poor reputation in the surrounding community, especially with other churches in the area.
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The churches hold to several doctrines that are elitist, demonstrate poor scholarly interpretation and result in dividing the Body of Christ.
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The churches’ remaining members are there either because they have invested too much time in it already, they are afraid to leave because of the resulting family/friendship loss it would cause, they were born into it and assume it is correct, or they actually believe all that they have been told.
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The churches engage in behaviors that are common in abusive religious groups.
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The churches control your behavior and choices beyond what scripture mandates.
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The churches advocate divorce for unscriptural reasons.
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The churches’ policies on shunning harm the family unit and cause great emotional trauma.
The fact that you are here, reading this site demonstrates that you are not accepting all that you have been told in the past. You have your own questions about your church that led you here in the first place.
In the end, no one ever said, after leaving a high control religious group like this, “I wish I had left the church later.” Instead, they wind up lamenting the time that they invested in a group that does so much damage to so many people. Lost years can’t be recovered, but a new, healthy self can be. So, we at Antmquestions.com have just one final question for you…
Isn’t it time for you to leave the ANTM?
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To the one answering that question, "Not yet"...
You say, "I mean, I see the problems. I wish I COULD leave, but you have no idea what I would lose if I left. There’s just no way.” We get it. There is no way to leave without loss of some kind. But living a lie of being physically “in”, while mentally “checked out”, will also take its toll on a soul. You can’t un-see a problem once you’ve seen it.
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If you have seen evil in this world and wondered how it can thrive…unfortunately, this is how. Tiny, daily choices that people make to avoid making waves, to sidestep confrontation, to shy away from pain. People instead decide to just keep their head down and days turn into years and the toll mounts.
You may feel you are maintaining a degree of integrity and dignity by remaining in, yet keeping the whole operation at arm’s length, if only mentally. But know this: your tithe dollar spends the same as the most ardent and committed member. Keeping your head down keeps you safe – but it keeps others enslaved. In very real and tangible ways, like it or not, you are part of this. Your ongoing presence there and your tithes and silence support this abusive system perpetuating itself.
If you are deciding to stay, we are sorry for the ongoing war in your soul that will continue. It’s a hard place to be in and there are likely many in this situation in the ANTM. Would you at least consider some potential next steps for you and your family? If you are actively shunning a family member, then stop it now. For the sake of your own soul and in the name of human decency, stop shunning.
If one by one, people begin embracing family again, then it will create a domino effect in the church. It can become the new normal. No permission needed. Jesus already gave the orders – “love your neighbor; love your enemy”. You don’t need a pastor’s permission to do what Jesus already commanded. And know that one day, YOU will answer for your choices. Norman will not bear the blame for your decisions to shun, you will.
To the one who has realized it IS time to leave...
You have said to yourself…”yes, I am done with this system that does not represent what Christ is all about and it is not what I want to be a part of anymore”, then you are likely saying, “Now what do I do? How do I do this?”
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No one should have to do this alone. If you need help, advice, or simply prayer for wisdom, strength and clarity of mind, we are here. Reach out to us via the chat live feature below or by the email at the bottom of the page.
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If you need a place to stay; if you need support of any kind, whether it be physically, mentally, emotionally, financially, or spiritually, we are available to help you. You aren’t alone.
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There is a long road ahead after you leave. The irony is, once you do leave the ANTM, your true human feelings are reignited, we restart our hearts and we open ourselves up to that raw pain of separation. The honest truth is that it is only when we do leave, with these rekindled synapses intact that we can see in ourselves the damage that we have caused others. It’s no fun, but there is no choice. Those emotions and feelings and instincts were put there by God. We suppressed and stifled them at our own peril.
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Finding others who have been through similar things is immensely helpful. Immersing yourself in the materials in the FIND HELP section is also helpful. Your instincts get validated. You see the ANTM as merely another uninspired iteration of cult psychology running through its typical lifespan. You find that life is precious, days are precious, people are to be valued and choice is the greatest gift God gave us.
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If this is you – welcome to the world as it truly is. If you are so inclined, we would be honored to walk with you on your road to healing, discovery and recovery.