Members of the ANTM invariably see portions of their families torn apart when other family members leave the church, due to the well ingrained practice of shunning. 

 

The Amish community also refers to this practice as shunning. In the Jehovah's Witness, this punishment is known as being disfellowshipped. Scientology calls it disconnection. In the ANTM, using the term shunning is seen as derogatory, since they associate it with other cult groups. They typically describe the practice as "disfellowshipping" or "cutting someone off". The underlying behavior is identical.

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The ones who leave are the always the ones who are to blame for the separation, never the church that promotes the expectation to shun. Many divorces, supported by the leadership, have occurred as the result of one party leaving the church, while another remained “faithful”.

 

Grandparents are not allowed to see grandchildren; parents are not allowed to see children. Brothers, sisters, aunts, uncles, cousins, are left outside the lives of those who still remain inside the confines of these “churches”.

Almost every family that continues to attend has been touched, in some way, by the severe practice of shunning in these churches. The shunning of former members is encouraged, most often by the use of select verses taken out of context. These verses, that speak of "not associating" with "sinning members" or "factious men" are used to support cutting off people that are not in sin. Many times, those who are shunned are simply people that disagree with the practice of shunning itself, or another point of doctrine or practice. Rarely is out and out sin the reason someone is shunned. The most common reason for shunning someone is, that they simply stopped going to the church and for that, they lose all of their family and friends. No church discipline for out and out sin, no Matthew 18 principles of correcting an 'erring' brother. It is simply, "well they 'broke their commitment to the church', so let's shun them."

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Members will often tell you that "no one forced me to shun". One of the results of mind control in high control religious groups is that the doctrine and teachings themselves provide a blueprint for the expected shunning behavior. The leadership, doesn't have to preach on the subject, the member knows what to do, because he has been shown what to do by teaching and by example. The member in an effort to convince themselves that they aren't brainwashed by mind control tells themselves that it was their decision. In reality, it is the only decision they are allowed to make. This is called bounded choice, a freedom to chose from a list of one choice. At other times, shunning is enforced as a means of loyalty testing for a member who is close to someone who left the church.

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Ultimately, shunning is about is control. It is about power. It is about spiritual pride and elitism. It is about fear. It is about service to a severe and yet false god, a god that only loves conditionally, a god that tells you you are never good enough, a god made in the image of the founding “Apostle” Norman H. James, Sr. and his wife Becky James. They both came from families with strained relationships and the pain that flowed from their past, flowed into and affected the "church family" they created.

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